Banning "the C word"

I have a vivid memory of being in pre-school and struggling every day to put the straw in my CapriSun. I would always go to my teacher and say, "I can't" and hold up the juice pouch for her to open. The first time I did it she let it slide and poked the straw in for me, but the second, third, and every time after, when I'd go up and say, "I can't," she would lovingly say, "Yes you can, you just have to keep trying" or "Yes you can, just ask for some help. Don't just sit there and say you can't."

I eventually mastered the art of CapriSun opening.

I have another memory of being in first grade at Shady Grove Elementary. The assignment was to write a story about how we would spend a day with Frosty the Snowman. Most kids probably just made a list of lame things to do like eat sandwiches and play with blocks, but my little 6 year old creative mind went running wild and I wrote a five page story about all kinds of adventures with multiple characters, plot twists, magical powers and snowball fights. But then came time to edit, and for a 6 year old, editing a five page story and writing a final draft in your best handwriting is a very heavy workload. I brought the stack of red ink-marked pages to my teacher after a feeble attempt at editing and said, "I can't." I wished I had just written a short little paragraph like everyone else. Every day during writing time when we were supposed to be working on editing our stories I would go to my teacher and tell her "I can't," and eventually she said, "You are no longer allowed to say the C word. This story is creative and so YOU*. I'll help you, but stop saying you CAN'T, because you CAN. You're going to finish it"

I eventually finished the story and I think my mom still has it.

The point is, I've spent a lot of my life telling myself and being told and believing I can't do things:

"I can't go to a big university"

"I can't run five miles"

"I can't work with adults with disabilities"

"You can't learn a musical instrument"

"You can't be on the swim team"

"You can't move to College Station"

just to name a few, and all of those things I ended up doing. But sadly, there are also things I thought I couldn't do, and looking back, I totally could have done them, but either I told myself or someone else told me I couldn't and I believed them, so I didn't even try and missed the opportunity to succeed or learn. 

"I can't" is an excuse, and its lame. The truth is, you probably CAN but you're scared to, or don't know how to, or don't want to look ridiculous or too ambitious. Instead of "I can't" how about "I want to"? Replace any "I can't" with "I want to" and just LOOK at how much more possible it looks:

"I can't I want to go to a big university." 

"I can't I want to run five miles."

"I can't I want to work with adults with disabilities."

Just because you can't do something right now doesn't mean you shouldn't try to set goals and learn and work towards it. Maybe sometimes we tell ourselves we CAN'T because we're afraid of what will happen if we DO. Why are we so fearful of our own success? Why not you? Who says you can't be that person who effects change, makes the team, gets accepted to their dream school? I am always inspired by a quote I first heard in 7th grade that has seemed to follow me since:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

          We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world."

Marianne Williamson

(Read the entire speech here--DO IT its amazing.)

YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD.

*I am so thankful for the people throughout my life who have told me and still tell me to stop believing I can't do things. In the past couple of years, I have began to realize that I have wasted so much time thinking I can't do things. (Side note: I started my blog during a time when I started realizing I CAN do things, which is why it is called Kaki Does Things). I have always loved to write, and I think (I'm actually pretty sure) a lot of that comes from my first grade teacher telling me my snowman story was creative and "so me" and helped me finish it so many years ago. She believed in me and didn't let me quit. I might not have developed a love for writing had it not been for her banning "the C word."

Summary: if it is good and if it is productive or funny or kind or delicious, or helpful, or innovative, you CAN do it and you SHOULD.